I recently read this statement:
What you allow is what will continue
I’ve thought about this and it is so simple it’s brilliant … the reason is that it is true. What do each of us allow to happen in our lives that we are unhappy with? It could be something really simple, but annoying. But in allowing it to continue we are endorsing and possibly encouraging that behaviour or attitude to grow and develop. It could be within ourselves or someone else.
For example someone you live with doesn’t respect that you may need some time alone. You’re having a nice long soak in the bath and they decide this is the moment they need to come in and talk with you. The more you try to ignore them in the hope they will go away, the more they try to speak with you. Sound familiar?
So what to do? I wouldn’t suggest speaking to them in that moment as you are no doubt feeling angry and may say something you later regret. But what about bringing it up later? What is stopping you? So many clients say they don’t want to upset the other person, which is a nice thought, but if they are upsetting you don’t you have a right to ask them to stop? Plus how can you be certain that they will be upset? They might be put out that you hadn’t mentioned it sooner, but the majority of times it isn’t that big a deal.
Because all of us are prone to over thinking certain situations and our imaginations are far worse than reality. That is one reason Hitchcock films stand the test of time. You never see any gory moments in a Hitchcock movie he leaves it all to your imagination as each of us will think in a different detail to others.
What is stopping you speaking up? Is it the thought of what might be said to you? That the other person may be momentarily upset? Or could it be that they will be grateful for your honesty and this will lead to an open and honest conversation?
If you need help finding your voice, don’t hesitate to contact me for a no obligation chat, either email or phone me, because it is good to remember that nothing has to be the way it has always been.